Coming along slowly and personally now

I've been busy trying to piece together and understand the series of events that make up the actual play on the stage. And of course along with that comes the question of what is my character doing? What is the action, as we like to say? In the rehearsal room we have had the dicsussions of the essential facts and circumstances and we are working out the general physical world and movement of the play. We are "inside" the parameters and suggestions of the written script. The characters actions slowly get put in place, behaviorally, pieced together logically, in detail. I list them out or tell them to myself in the narrative. For example," I walk in, listening for sounds outside. I set down my notes and pick up the penny flute. My mind is thinking about whether or not I want to be alone, and trying not to think of the possibility of being beaten again. I try to play a song on the recorder, almost by habit. I feel pain in my mouth, a small taste of blood. A sigh hurts my broken ribs, pain. I set the recorder down and go to the sink to rinse my mouth out. I am listening to the recordings that I have made, tapedeck playing. I feel anxious. I rinse my mouth, trying to sooth myself and relax. I go back to the table. I turn off the tapedeck. I sit down." This "discription" of behavior, this narrative, eventually becomes my personal "script" or "text" you might say. Mine are always soaked in activities of the senses, thoughts, and images in the mind. What I create there, in those realms, should give rise to the words provided to my character by the playwright. The process of creating this working "text" for myself is slow, detailed, and full of trial and error. As I am working on it, I begin to develop an artistic point of view so to speak - a kind of general sense of purpose about the kind character I am making and why. I begin to harbor hopes and aspirations about what I might be able to artistically achieve and convey to the spectators. By now I have taken in the playwrights work pretty fully, and have been earnest in appreciating and trying to understand it. It's the beginning of melding my own creativity in with it now. It's personal. Very, very personal. On many levels. Mind you, this doesn't imply or mean private or unspeakable or something like that. It just means connected and intentionally so - having a stake or desire in what I am doing. I want a character that is enjoyable and complex and meaningful, for myself and for the spectators. And so this is how I am proceeding