Don't Think I Won't Be Using Emotional Memory!

Moment by Moment - so it goes

I had the opportunity to work for a few minutes with an actress of supreme talent. And what a few minutes it was. This was an audition situation. A rare happening, for me. The director in his wise ways gave a discription of the background of these characters leading up to their meeting, but did not describe what or how the meeting should happen between the two. But this is a director who imagines and thinks in behavior - what the character is doing and thinking and feeling - and speaks as such. Just before we started reading he said "and you two take your sweet time." Music to my ears of course. The main point though to this post is the ability of the actress I was reading with to be present and alive throughout, in big and small ways, and to work specifically in silences and in speaking, deeply and interesting and revealing. As the director was describing the what had been happening to the characters, I was letting it "sink in" and finding in myself what I thought and imagined to be what it was like to be this character. You know, the old "What would you do if you were in this situation?" I knew the characters pain and embarrassment would have to be there, but the action of the scene was going to be these two people rediscoving each other, through that pain and embarrassment. As soon as we started, I knew it would be "easy." Because of the actress I was reading with. And my actor instincts quickly said pay attention and let things flow moment by moment by moment. The directors wisdom about going slow was because he knew the specifics of behavior that existed in the silences, the thoughts, the laughter, the longings, etc. Finding a sudden treasure of an actess like this (although I was aware of her abilities before we started the scene) is an incredible artistic gift. Especially in that kind of situaton. And it reminded me that when you work on stage for an hour and a half with that kind of attention and moment by moment specificity, acting and theatre comes completely alive in the most unexpected and spontaneous of ways - the creative subconcious in full force. But to do what she did in those few brief minutes you have to have all those "things" we talk about all the time - you have to be relaxed, you have to be aware, you have to have actual literal thoughts, you have to allow for sensations to flow through you, you have to speak the lines out of the context that is your body and mind in that very moment...

Notes on Acting

Let’s say it’s well into rehearsal (months, not weeks) or perhaps even along into performance now with spectators present, meaning that I have actively explored and assessed all the facts and circumstances of the play fully and am acutely aware of relationships, intentions, actions, etc. Long ago I asked myself, what would I do if I were in that situation and/or what would make me do (behave) as the character seems to be behaving in this situation. Now I am supposed to be “acting.” So the question is what is it that I actually do during this time? What do I think, what commands do I give my body, etc? How do I create this behavior that is supposed to happen as “the play?” My answers here are based on my actual work. This is the stuff I do for better or for worse. I keep tabs on it. I notice it. I compare it. So to write about it is simple in some ways. But let me start with some things I don’t do. I don’t think much about the circumstances or the situation of the play in a pretending sort of way while I am on stage. I might say I never do that - but never say never you know. I don’t remember doing it recently. I don’t try to pretend or imagine that this person is my brother or I am in the forest or it’s time sing, or whatever the particular circumstance of the play is asking for. My mind is doing many things but it’s not pretending at all. Mostly I think of personal situations or issues or experiences that have happened to me during my life. Occasionally I give those thoughts a small imaginative twist - such as might happen in a dream, like putting two things in one place that in actuality never would be together. But these things are real to me never-the-less. Sometimes my mind is giving commands to my body, such as relax, or breathe deep and slowly, or move with this quality of energy, etc. Those type commands are things that have been noticed and needed over the process of rehearsal and have been integrated by me at particular times to create specific effects. Other times my mind is being aware of or creating the awareness for me that I am on stage, present in front of the audience. I make this fact a conscious part of my work, but I do it as sense of “sharing” or “giving.” If I have a main point to this post, it is simply that I do not make myself aware of or consciously work with the circumstances of the play while I am actually onstage acting. That integration has already happened - but what is needed to inspire that integration of imaginative fictional circumstance to real and actual behavior and life, is the very real part of me that thinks and feels and knows and understands. And that happens via the memories of my own life which I literally carry out on stage with thoughts, sensations, and sometimes physical actions. That’s how I act!